Becoming The Love You Seek: The Blessing in Heartbreak

I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit replaying moments that ended in heartbreak — sifting through the what’s and why’s of relationships that didn’t work, and asking the same weary questions many of us do: “Wasn’t I enough?”

I’ve waded in waters that were never meant for me, trying to find my rhythm in someone else’s flow. I’ve known the sting of disappointment enough times to recognize its familiar ache. And yet, I also hold the receipts — the proof of healed wounds and lessons learned — that remind me I never have to return to those same emotional places again.

Then one day, I prayed.

It had been a long time since I truly prayed about heartache. Shame has a way of silencing us when we find ourselves circling familiar roads. But grace — oh, grace — keeps no score. As if the Father had been waiting for my heart to finally open again, His response came swiftly and softly:

“Be.”

Be the love and the attributes you’re seeking from others.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of hearing God’s voice, you know that His words don’t just echo — they illuminate. In that moment, peace flooded my spirit like a long-awaited comfort. I wept, but it was a cleansing cry, the kind that ushers in alignment. Two simple things made all the difference that day: I chose to ask for help, and God answered.

What I realized was this — I had been doing myself a disservice, as we often do when we forget to love ourselves well. Life has a way of revealing our neglect when storms come; the cracks always show where care has been missing.

Had I been as kind to myself as I was to others?As patient? As forgiving?

God’s message showed me that something had to change. I had long expected myself to show unconditional love outwardly, yet I never held the same expectation for what I received inwardly. One painful experience can distort how we see ourselves if we’re not careful — and soon, that distorted reflection becomes the reality we live in.

But when we begin to see ourselves as God does — beloved, whole, worthy — we realign with His divine will. We step into the flow of love, peace, and joy that surpasses understanding.

So yes, I’m grateful for the heartbreak. It was the very tool that opened my heart to listen differently this time. I learned that I will no longer expect from others what I’m unwilling to first give to myself.

It’s that simple.